The mom downstairs

Over the years we've had many wonderful neighbors, with kids that Colter adores. I usually get to know the parents pretty well as the children run in and out of each other's houses.

But I hadn't learned much about the mother downstairs -- until yesterday.

She speaks Spanish, primarily, although her children are bilingual. Four of her children live downstairs (they range in age from 9 to 16), and Colter sometimes plays outside with the two youngest -- a boy who is 9 and a girl who is 10. But until the last week the kids were never in our home and their friendship was superficial, at best. In fact, it was hot and cold (hot when their collective tempers flared and cold after Colter learned from them how to curse in two languages).

But recently, Colter and the two kids have started spending more time together and grown closer. And yesterday, Colter really wanted to go trick or treating with them. Unfortunately, they had been grounded for getting in a fight with another little girl and they said they could never play in anyone's house again. Colter was devastated.

Even though the mom and I have only ever said hello while crossing paths walking to and from our cars, I told him I would ask her if it'd be OK for them to go trick or treating with us if I went along. I did and she agreed.

The kids had a great time, and afterward, she let them sort their candy and play at our house. In fact, she even came upstairs and brought me some sweets.

While she was here, I learned that she's allergic to cats and that she cleans houses. In fact, she offered to clean our new house and was insulted when I said, "I don't want you to do that." (The irony, of course, is that I said it because I didn't want her to be insulted.)

She asked if I was going to have any more children. I said no, then paused. "You have six, right?" I asked. She said, "Five. Four live with me and one lives in New Jersey."

Then her daughter said, "She may be having a sixth."

It turns out the mom downstairs may be pregnant. The home test was positive, but at the clinic they said it was too early to tell.

I said, "Are you ready for another child?"

She said, "No." Then, pointing to her son (playing GameCube on the couch with my son), she said, "It's been 9 years." She paused, then added, "But it's a gift from God."

I understood. And in that instant, we were friends.

Two mothers. Never ready for children, but parents nonetheless, doing the best we can.

Comments

[Janine]

Yes, I agree with Liz. I totally identified with: "I understood. And in that instant, we were friends."

[emily]

I'm not sure anyone is ever ready.

[Liz]

I'm not quite sure why, but this post made me cry. Thank you for sharing such a lovely story and acknowledging the fact that two women, who are so obviously different, can be supportive of each other and share a common bond as mothers.