The Mommy's Bill of Rights

I just discovered a clever article by a writer who "decided the Constitution, a model for human rights and democracy, gives little hope to mothers who don't have time to pursue life or liberty, and whose happiness is stopping at a red light to finish brushing their teeth in the rear view mirror."

She's written the Mommy's Bill of Rights because "someone has to uphold the rights of a group of people whose arms are too tired by the end of the day to hold anything else up."

Here's an edited version (these are mostly her words, I just shortened and summarized in places):

Article I: A Mom has the right to freedom of (uninterrupted) speech.

Article II: Mom has the right to confiscate any inanimate object.

Article III: All mothers have the natural right to bear and utilize one of the most dangerous and powerful weapons in the world: guilt.

Article IV: Moms have the right to peacefully assemble -- without their children.

Article V: Mom has the right not to be a victim of cruel and unusual punishment.

Article VI: Mom has the right to own unbroken possessions.

Article VII: Mothers have the right to bestow wisdom.

Article VIII: Mothers have the right to donate.

Article IX: Mothers have the right to vigorously promote coats and vegetables.

Article X: Mothers have the right to prohibit anyone younger than 5 from asking "but, why?"

Amendment I: A mother has the right to love her children unconditionally -- forever.

What would you add to the Mommy's Bill of Rights?

Comments

[Christina]

Mothers have the right to sleep past sunrise if they so desire or if said sleep is desperately needed.

Mothers have the right to be sick or injured by themselves.

Mothers have the right to shower....alone...with no one running in the bathroom to tattle on another sibling.

[angel]

hi julie! i love this bill of rights, i think i must have it framed for myself, my granny, my sisters and my mom!
i have a bill of rights for kids with adhd if you'd like to see it? my sons doctor gave it to me when we first started seeing him.

[Angela Giles Klocke]

I used to have a similar set of rights here in my home that I wrote for us and the children. I may have to dig them out again and post them on the fridge! ;)

[Sarah]

A mother has the right to use the bathroom alone at least once a day.

[SAHM]

Mother's have the right to call the husband in for back up in emergencies, even if he is at work (his boss has kids too you know!)