For the first time in our lives together, my husband is on a diet.
I grew up thin in a family of chronic overeaters, so I've lived with dieters before, but I've never been married to one.
And as much as I support his efforts to lose weight and eat more healthy foods, I have to confess I really don't want to conduct mandible math at every single meal, nor do I want to know all the caloric counts of every morsel he might have considered consuming at some point.
Help me: How can I be supportive without becoming a certified nutritionist?
I'm the one who battles the scales in this house, only my hubby developed diabetes and I now have to cook meals designed for him.
The thing is, one never knows, today or tomorrow what will happen with weight or health.
So encourage this change in his atitude toward food and be cheerful and helpful.
I always thought I would be the one who developed the problems, (diabetes, etc) but it was my thin Hubby. So, you never know.
Posted by: Account Deleted | August 25, 2005 at 08:15 PM
I'm with Cassie... just smile and nod. Throw in an occassional "Wow that's great!" and you are good to go.
If it helps, you know to get you the right mindset and all, you can have a remote in your hand and mimic what he does when you are talking about a fight with a friend, a family member's issue, or the fact the garage needs cleaned out.
Posted by: Kym | August 20, 2005 at 01:28 AM
He's pretty easy-going, I doubt it should be hard. If he does something that makes your enjoyment of meals with him diminish, then cheerfully point out how this new behaviour is unappetizing and ask him if he'd mind not doing that particular thing during this new endeavor. Be supportive, but don't become a slave to the process.
Good luck on the diet.
Posted by: Philip | August 18, 2005 at 07:42 PM
hey, checking in with my comment.
My husband and I are pretty healthy, but decided to go on a diet to lose some of the extra light weight we were carrying.
South Beach is the way to go. Fresh foods we would cook anyway, subsitutes for cravings and a smarter lifestyle approach to food that you can teach Colter too.
Designed by a cardiologist, it is a good investment in a healthy heart. As a busy working mom, I love the recipes and easy to manage snacks and meals..
just a thought to check out...
Posted by: suzanne | August 18, 2005 at 06:02 PM
I would purge the house of junk food (wherever possible) and concentrate on buying more healthy foods (if you are the one who does the shopping - I'm making an assumption there). I would also try to have healthy snacks available, like baby carrots and fruit that has already been cleaned/cut up. I wouldn't nag him about what he is/isn't eating or drinking.
Good luck to both of you. It's not easy.
Posted by: Julie | August 16, 2005 at 11:30 PM
Smile a lot.
Posted by: cassie-b | August 16, 2005 at 02:27 PM
Best practical tip: prepare low-density foods, which tend to be foods you don't have to worry about counting every calorie (Weight Watchers has adopted this approach with their new "Core" plan ). Basically, foods like fruit, veggies, lean protein and whole grains are low-density, because you're eating comparatively fewer calories but the same volume than if you were to eat high density foods like cakes, fatty meats, etc.
On the brighter side, at least you can be happy that your husband's trying. My husband and I are the opposite - he's the perfectly healthy one, I'm the one that needs to lose weight. And I'm not always interested in being my physical best, which isn't healthy for me or, frankly, for our marriage!
Posted by: Cathy | August 16, 2005 at 12:10 PM
I have to agree with Gary! He is right.
I wasn't thin but I was average weight growing up. I came from a family of dieters and they messed me up. I was always on a diet (who knows why???)because they told me I would get fat.
Well now I have to lose 100 pounds by next year for my sister's wedding. This will be so difficult. Having a supportive husband will be helpful.
Posted by: Robin P | August 15, 2005 at 11:34 AM
Be supportive, but don't be intrusive - no nagging allowed! And eventually, hopefully, his dieting will become more of a lifestyle and less of an "event" so it will smoothly be incorporated into your lives.
Posted by: Melanie Lynne Hauser | August 15, 2005 at 10:58 AM
Just avoid eating a whole bag of Oreos in his presence. And don't ever say, "Are you going to eat that?"
Posted by: Mel | August 14, 2005 at 11:22 PM
Dear Grew up Thin,
Being supportive at almost any cost is worth it for your husband's health.
My guess is since this is, "…the first time in (your) lives together, (your) husband is on a diet," you probably have nothing to worry about. All of this "mandible math" is new to him and he will quit verbalizing his low cal discoveries as soon as the novelty wears off. For now he just wants to share this wonderful new world that he has found with the one he loves best. But tell me, would you rather have the novelty wear off of his verbalizations, or his will to diet? If I were you I would be grateful that this is the only bad side effect. Many people experience one of three more divisive side effects while dieting.
1) they become very cranky.
2) they insist that their spouse joins then in calorie crunching.
3) they ask that you purge the house of things like chocolate and chips and whole milk.
Be as supportive as you can, and while he's telling you all the ways in which he is making his goal come true. Just smile and nod and imagine the fat just melting away, imagine him becoming thinner and thinner, back to the hubby you once knew.
Signed,
I Grew up Thin Also
PS Good luck to both of you.
PSS Be glad that your husband doesn't read your blog, because that second sentence, parenthesizes not withstanding is not very flattering.
Posted by: gm | August 14, 2005 at 08:42 AM