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August 08, 2005



thank you.


I believe happiness is a conscious decision- and I try to make it every morning when I wake up. It always makes me think of the Chinese story of the woman who couldn’t bear her mother in law. She went to a witch doctor who gave her a magical poison powder and said she had to sprinkle it on the woman’s food and put it in her tea- with the proviso that she be polite, friendly and sweet for the magic to work. After a few weeks of being nice to the old woman, they were getting on so well that she rushed to the witch doctor to ask for an antidote. The witch doctor said she needn’t worry- he had given her a simple herb concoction that wasn’t poisonous at all- the magic had been in her behaviour. If I think how often (if not always) I carry on at work, all smiles and happiness when home is falling apart or when something else is wrong- then either I’m a reaaaaally good actor or my theory works.


That was really nice! I think it is helpful to sometimes step back and get a little perspective. However, I also think it's important not to get too caught in measuring your own happiness by other people's standards. I'm a big believer in constant improvement, but I also feel strongly about smelling the roses along the way (celebrating accomplishments, appreciating what you have).




As always, great column! I've found over my adult life that happiness isn't even where it's at, it's in those spaces between the happiness and the unhappiness, the freedom from the highs and lows, the middle ground where I'm most at peace.

But having a husband who had more fashion sense and had less conservative political leanings wouldn't bother me one bit.

Melanie Lynne Hauser

Thanks for this - we all need a refreshing dose of honesty now and then!

Pam H.

I really liked this column. I often find myself victim to that grass is greener thinking; other families do so much more together; other moms are better at scheduling activities for their kids; other parents are never disrespected by their kids. This is a good reminder that appearances are usually deceiving. Thanks for writing such an honest and thoughtful column.

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