What I've learned so far

Some of you have asked for an update on my health, so it's below, but first here are a few related insights I've had recently.

• When people ask how I'm feeling, they're looking for a one-sentence answer, not a monologue. If people don't ask how I'm feeling, they really don't want to hear.
• No one wants to listen to me rave about the great card/flowers/gift I received from someone else. Illness is not a license to be insensitive.
• There are a lot of things I don't know and that's OK. However, there are a lot of things doctors don't know. Ask a lot of questions, then ask some more. As Ronald Reagan said, "Trust, but verify."
• What feels to me like a life-changing revelation sounds like a Hallmark card to the rest of the world.
• My recovery mantra: Let go, say no, go slow.

Here's a one-sentence health update. It seems the doctors that determined my liver tumors were adenomas got it wrong, and after a month of tests we still don't have a definitive diagnosis or treatment plan, but I meet with the doctor again on Monday and we hope to learn more then. (Yes, I know it's a run-on sentence, but it's still a one-sentence version.)

I'm going to spare you the monologue, but I will say it's been a month of see-sawing. First, there were indications that I had this and then it thankfully became more likely that I have this. From day to day, based on different test results, I tried to understand and mentally prepare for the different possible diagnoses and treatment plans (from surgery to "wait and see") suggested to me by different doctors at the same cancer center.

So the overall lesson I've learned is to forget about the fat lady, the opera ain't over until the final curtain call. Oh yeah, and frozen black-eyed peas make the best ice packs.

Comments

[Irene]

thinking of you Julie (((HUGS)))

[Hsien Lei]

Oh dear. I was hoping you'd have a firm diagnosis and successful treatment by now. I'll still keep thinking of you and wishing you a speedy (speedier?!) recovery. *hugs*

[kris]

Have you had any news? If so, I hope it was of the very good variety.

[kristin]

thanks for the update. i hope you find out what's wrong soon so you can set a course for treatment. i'm sending positive vibes your way.

[rachel]

take care.

i've noticed those things too, as I've been sick. And that people become tired of listening to the same complaints.

((((huggs)))) and i hope you find solutions and answers soon.

[Jo]

Julie - I am continuing to pray for you and hope that indeed, the prognosis is not serious (per say). I can imagine that the last few months have been trying. How, may I ask, did all this come to be discovered? Keep us posted, please.

[mothergoosemouse]

Julie, I'm glad I checked in to see the update. I wish it were more definitive, but I'll take ambiguous over disastrous.

What really blows me away is that your reading list keeps progressing - entries being crossed off as consistently as always.

[cooper]

I think about you all the time and hope we can talk, or, I hope I can listen, soon.

[cassie-b]

We use frozen green peas. And always be certain to mark the bag - or it might show up on your plate one of these days.

I hope things go well for you. Not knowing must be very tough.

Cas

[kelly]

You're on my mind a lot, and I wouldn't mind a monologue at all...

[Janine]

Glad to 'hear' from you again. I know just what you mean in lesson #1. It drives me crazy - if people don't want a monologue when they ask how you're doing, then they just shouldn't ask!
Still thinking of you. Still praying.

[Heidi]

I've always used frozen green peas. Maybe black-eyed peas stay frozen longer.

Thinking of you often!!