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December 26, 2004



It's a hard one, and I have seen both Hannah and Heidi struggle with similar situations. I try and remind them that no one is perfect (including themselves) and when they get to know someone, they will learn what their bad points are. At that point, and as time goes on, they have to decide if their friends faults are ones they can live with or ones that cause them not to be friends any longer. I try to encourage them not to let their friends hurt them too much, and I try to encourage them to live by the 'water off a ducks back' motto. I always tell them what wonderful little people they are and make them realise that they it is their responsiblity to be a good friend to those they consider their friends, but I also remind them they have the right to choose or lose any friend they wish. I can only hope and pray that this is enough!


Billy has had a "friend" for the past 12 years who is there when he wants something. I used to try to pint this out to him, he never wanted to hear it. I have noticed that the friend is around alot less than he used to be and I think Billy is finally closing him out of his life. That is one of those essons they have to learn I think.


I don't have any children of my own, but I'm working on it.

I watch many East Indian women (including my family members and patients) keep certain friendships and relationships out of need. What's the need? Love, recognition, acknowledgment, no matter how unbalanced the relationship is between the two people. As much as I would like to tell them to move on and find someone better, I know they must see it for themselves. It doesn't mean I don't drop little hints where I can.

You love your son, and you want to help him. Be careful not to be too obvious, as he will ignore you just to rebel. But, if you leave certain questions open-ended, rather than pointing out the obvious, it gets Colter to think and make more independent choices.

I was just curious. Have you ever been hurt by a woman like Colter is? It's really none of my business, just thought that may be an important question to ask. When I'm angry with someone else hurting a loved one of mine, I ask myself if they remind me of someone or something I myself despise in someone I once knew.


My son had a friend for years that I didn't like - he was manipulative, would like Nick one day and hate him the next... he was on an emotional roller coaster... finally Nick came to the light and decided to find a better friend.. We are all much happier now... lol


I've only had to deal with this on a 4-year-old level so far (and this year not at all, she has a great friend on the street) so I don't have any advice for you. I am very glad that Colter has two stronger friends (and don't worry about the language, that's going on whether you hear it or not, and it's just a part of growing up) you have shown him the light about the first girl. And even better, treat him like family. Awesome.


After 6 years and 9 years of helping my kids identify good friends from rotten, my boys are still going thru this. These kids are mean little sadists. I don't have a CLUE how these kids could ALL be such demon spawn. I am trying as hard as I can to tell my kids how much I care for them and how much they should care for themselves and not allow these boys and girls to treat them so terribly.. the saga continues...

Gary M.

I don't have a problem with seeing people for who they are, like Sally!

My big brother gives me hard newgys to my head, which does not feel to good, but he's really great, I think.

My friend Alice is nice, just sometimes she looks like a beaver when she has this funny look on her face for some reason, maybe it's because it's that time of the month, whatever that means.

My friend Sticks is kinda nice, just that she looks like a stick!

Nadia is great, just wish she stop farting, because it stinks!

Old Lady Bags is a great friend, just loves the word "f a c k".

I hope if I ever have kids that there friends are as nice as my friends, but don't smell, say the word f a c k, or look like a beaver!

Posted by: Rockchild | December 29, 2004 05:26 AM

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