Treat Him Like a Dog

or Enter the Dog Whisperer

This post was inspired by Goldberry over at Silver Linings.

6am in the San Antonio airport I saw an amazing TV show called The Dog Whisperer. The Dog Whisperer uncovers behavioral problems that a dog and its master exhibit. Then he teaches the master how to behave in order to achieve a certain behavior from the dog.

In this episode, the dog was unruly, and basically ran the household. The owner treated the dog like a baby and invested a great deal of her self esteem in him. The Dog Whisper saw the imbalance. He noted that the dog literally lead the woman around when she took him for a walk and in the house he got attention anytime he barked.

The Whisperer's solution; keep a short leash, keep him to the side and one step behind and insist on obedience. Become the Alpha dog. He said this would allow the dog to just be a dog instead of trying to be the alpha human. I watched the show as an unruly and unhappy dog transformed into an obedient and playful creature.

In the grocery store I noticed that Colter walked in front of me and that I was constantly adjusting his gate and direction…from behind. I tried the whisperer's walking instructions, and it worked flawlessly. But that was just walking in the grocery store, could we have success with chores at home?

I've found that demanding obedience, works surprisingly well. I still pick my battles, but now I pick many more. When yelling and name calling start I immediately(and metaphorically) tug on his leash gently, "we don't yell in this house" I say. If that doesn't work, I send him to his room or I go to mine.

I had tried this for years, but my self esteem was too tied-up with the outcome. Now that I see it as training him in appropriate behavior, I can step back and not become emotionally drawn into his conflict. I am training him, not pleading, not punishing, not yelling or being yelled at. We do it on my terms or I separate him or myself. It takes two to fight, and although I haven't mastered it yet, I am training myself not to be one of them.

How do you train your child?

Side note: Just now, in the middle of writing this post, I laid down the law about practicing piano and it worked. I explained the consequences and set the timer for five minutes to give Colter time to see things my way. In less that three minutes he started practicing.

Comments

[Goldberry]

I am kind of new to this site and I THINK Colter is your son?? But you mentioned leash and then I thought maybe your puppy dog. I am still going with son after the piano comment.

I was "taught" how to train our dog right before we bought him. Lots of "play with his food while he eats so he doesn't become protective over it" and "walk through your dog if he's in the middle of the hall to show he's standing in a pathway. Even everything you mentioned here was told to us by the "trainer."

I tried walking through my daughter if she was standing in the middle of the hall, but she just bounced off both walls like a rbber ball, screaming all the way down. So I couldn't handle doing that again.

I do have rules in the house and things will be harder when the baby is born, but I am SO determined to make this work so we can have a peaceful living arrangement.

My dad always told me "teach the kids the rules and be strict with discipline ALL before the age of three. If you start later than that, it will be 10 times harder to get the desired result." I agree with that, as well.

[Rockchild]

When my mom tells my big brother what to do and he don't listen, she steps on him with her feet, and then he does whatever she says, which is good, because she has big feet, and they hurt as I know!

I'm sure you are doing a great job with your son, Gary. He does not need any dog training.

I hope you have a great Fourth of July!

[hcg weight loss]

Im a big fan of the show. I wonder he has some sort of magic connection with dogs.